You know you're no longer in CA when...

...your friend who plays the drums at church works at a chicken farm. Last night he almost missed church because he wasn't done checking the roosters tongues to see if they were burned.

Not only have I never known anyone who works at a chicken farm but I had no idea roosters could burn their tongues.

Lunch and Life Realizations

After church today I went to lunch in the dining hall. I didn't go with anyone or see anyone inside to eat with so, I sat at a table by myself. In front of my table was a table of 8-10 girls and behind me was a small group of guys. Even though I had no one to eat with it was a fantastically entertaining lunch. I spent the majority of my time eavesdropping on the conversations going on around my. Among the topics discussed were: my favorite type of tampons, my first experience with tampons, the party last night, getting high, how cool my mom is, and the overwhelming need to work on my tan.

I made a realization about myself today. I don't like change. I don't even like the idea of change. Not the greatest since I'm in a constantly changing environment and the next few years of my life are going to have some MAJOR changes in them. I think I need to get Romans 8:28 tattooed on my backside. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." It is sooooooooooo hard for me to not only remember but believe that no matter how much things change God has a plan in it all and will work things out for the best. Miami Ink here I come. ;)

I'm in love...

...with a poet named Rives. Normally I HATE poetry, but this man is cool! I've never heard anything so funny and creative before. Unfortunately some of his stuff is pretty vulgar. Here a few of the cleaner ones that I really like.

"Op Talk" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COaqjmaOfWw

"Deaf Poetry Jam" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbtVepS53t0

"Thanks. It hides my stomach rolls."

While with some of my girlfriends this weekend I made a comment about how I didn't like a picture we were looking at because I "looked fat". To this my friend Kate challenged me to go an entire week without saying something bad about my body. I thought this would be easy. I was wrong.

It's only Tuesday and I am already dumbstruck about how easily I put myself down. Last night a friend paid me a complement on the vest I was wearing. I replied by saying, "Thanks! It hides my stomach rolls." I didn't even flinch when I replied. It all came spilling out of my mouth so fast I had no clue what I was saying until I said it. Really stopping and hearing myself made me realize the complete idiocy of my own statement. The struggles with staying positive don’t stop here.

I told my roommate about "Positive Week". She jumped on the idea and right away. She insisted that I change my body type on my Myspace from "some extra baggage" to "average". According to my roommate "extra baggage" is only what really fat people put on their page. This sparked a great deal of thought...and confusion. I always thought I was being honest about my body by saying that I do have “extra baggage”. I consider myself a bigger girl, not fat necessarily but bigger. I ran this issue by a few of my friends. Some were surprised…one said she was “horrified” about what I said. I see the need to stop putting myself down but I also think it’s important to be honest about your body. However, I’m stuck now with wondering if my vision of myself has is distorted. If I can’t see myself the way everyone else sees me am I then lying to myself?

I’ve haven’t really reached a conclusion in all of this. All I can say is that changing your actions is easy. Changing your thinking is really... REALLY hard. In the end I took this statement about my body type off Myspace all together. I figured it was no ones business anyway what my body type is.

Sigh...

I can hardly contain my excitement to go home for spring break!! I'm just soooo tired of being at school and even more so being without a car. I know I should be grateful to simply get a good education and that I have friends who can take me places but really I'm reaching the end of my rope.

I think the weekends are my hardest time when I'm at school. I try really hard to schedule coffee dates with friends and busy myself with things like studying, working out, laundry, and reading my Bible. But those things can only take up so much time. Inevitably I end up spending the majority of the day in my room. It's even worse when my friends are gone. I'm an extrovert. I like people! I can only take so many days without them!! It would be awesome to have a car so I could take more initiative to see people! But practically speaking it just doesn't work for me to have one. If I get one now it's a matter of selling it or driving it all the way back to California when I graduate. So I'm left watching Father of The Bride on HBO, for the 7th time this semester, on a pretty lonely Saturday night.

I wish Monday would get here sooner! Sigh....