I'm Freeeeeeee!!!

I just finished my last final and I have this overwhelming urge to run around the hall yelling, "I'm freeeeeeee!!!!!" I also have the urge to burn my books. But alas I don't think I'll do either. I can hardly believe the semester is over. It has been an absolute whirlwind. Despite all the amazing new experiences I've had, and new friends I've made, this semester has actually been one of the more difficult ones, and by difficult I don't mean academically hard.

Never before has being single been such a struggle for me. Not only am I reaching the age where my friends are getting engaged but several of my very close friends have started dating this semester. Being around my friends while they've started dating was a first for me. I'm super happy for everyone but I quickly learned how much a boy can change the dynamics of a friendship. I swear I've run the gamete of emotions in regards to being single. I've been angry, hurt, jealous, frustrated, and incredibly lonely. The pain I've felt hasn't been so much in wanting a boyfriend but rather trying to understand why God is making me wait.

Although it's hard to admit, looking back I can honestly say that despite all the heartache this semester has really been a blessing. In all the pain I've felt I've always come back to God, even though I tried as hard as I can to avoid him at times. Chocolate can only do so much! ;) He has been consistent while everything else around me seems to be changing. He taught and continues to teach me so much about who He has created me to be. It would be nice to be able to say that things are peachy now and I'm totally fine with not dating. But I can't. Being content and trusting God in my singleness is still a constant and daily struggle. I'm not a quote person but I found one this semester that really stood out to me. The author probably didn't intended it to refer to the struggle of being single, but for me it has served as a means of encouragement during many a tear and chocolate filled night (I'm such a girl sometimes it kills me!)!!

"A great many things in God's divine providence do not look to the eye like goodness. But faith sits down before mysteries such as these and says, 'The Lord is good, therefore all that he does must be good no matter how good it looks. I can wait for His explanation."
-Hannah Whitall Smith